Stop being an idiot before your exams!

How all of us behave like complete idiots before our exams.

Pre-Examination Rant:

Second in-semester exams start day after tomorrow. We've got Algorithms and Database Managements systems on the first day. I can count the number of lectures of DBMS I have attended on the fingers of my hands, one hand, even if I were suffering from Oligodactyly . I really find it uninspiring and have sympathies for the person who has to handle databases when he graduates. I don't want to be that person.

Its too much theory and blah blah. I am probably wrong and am sure DBMS is a very important subject, but I just don't get inspired by it. I have to start studying it. Probably after this post.


I had a lot of tiny epiphanies today, Um usual pre-examination behavior. Even the beginning of this blog was through one of these mini epiphanies.

Anyway,
I hate something about examinations a lot. No, not about the system or anything. It's about how most of us behave in the few days before exams.

We dedicate few days before examination to studying. Just studying. It may be ten days for few or a maybe a week. These days suck. It's like the only thing that you think you are supposed to do in these few days is to study. And if you are not studying you better be sleeping or eating.

If I look at my complete day in which I was supposedly studying and denying myself of any recreation, I hardly studied. Then what did I do? Nada. Void. Nothing. Neither is my studying proportional to the time I invest in it nor do I permit myself in doing anything else. If I want to take a break, I take a nap. Wake up in cold sweat and rush back to my desk to make up for the extended sleep.

This is completely stupid. Stupid Stupid Stupid.

Shouldn't I just study properly for some part of the day and do something else in the remaining. No. Rather take the small amount of learning and distribute it throughout the day so in the end half of it doesn't make sense and there is hardly any retention. Argh. Who are you trying to fool?! You are just being stupid! You keep checking your Facebook, Twitter, Webmail and Gmail. You keep cycling through them. You read random articles. You strike up a conversation with friends you've not talked to in a long time.

Hey!
Long time!? How have you been?!

And then you don't even look for a reply. You don't give a fuck. You are busy reading comments on Feline videos on Youtube. You think how can everyone be so easily distracted? Oh and in between all this you read a line or two. Pretend you are studying. You are just killing time and waiting for the day to end. Waiting for the exams to end.

Dude, I spent the whole day studying! The course is just too large!

Can we just be a little smart and not waste 10 or 7 days before every exam pretending?! We anyway pretend a lot in our lives. Leave this out please. Don't pretend to study just because everybody is studying the whole day! It is not sacrilegious to do something else than studying before exams. There is no police.

Don't be a sheep!

Source:  Fluent in Spanish

But it is really funny, how I am so touchy and feeling so much about productivity just right before my examinations. Because after it ends, I'll turn a deaf ear to all such pleas in my stupid head. I'll be completely vella. I'll be in the state of doing nothing at all and wasting time till the dates for the next examination are announced.

"Vellapanti is a series of endless actions having the sole aim to kill time and doing chutiyapa at the same time"
Source: UrbanDictionary

True. We miss something when it's denied.

On an unrelated note. Only know you love her when you Let Her Go. Awesome song. Check it out. One of my favorite voices! The band is called Passenger.

 

PS. I have been tampering with the blog layout throughout the day and finally decided upon the sidebar thingy, which you see on the side. Duh. Tell me what you think of it? Please? I just can't decide.

Also please subscribe and comment :) Hover to the right of the screen. 

Everybody is not subscribing. Don't be a sheep.

I am scared.

I am scared. 

Recently I decided to do something. It is a grand plan. Everything about the plan is appealing. So yes, planning part is done. Finally the confirmation came from the other side and the plan started materializing.

I'll tell you what the plan is soon, even though many people already know it. I think I can tell you soon because I can finally see it as happening.
Keep your goals to yourself. This is one the best things I have learned. Check this TED talk without fail.

It started becoming real. And I got scared. I am really scared. But no one really gets it. I shared my feelings with few, but all they have is how wonderful it would be when I do it. How amazing it would be, and how everything will be okay in the end.I really appreciate it. But it really doesn't work that way. I know they are trying to help, and I do look for comforting words at times, but the ones I get are not the ones I want. Maybe words won't help. Maybe someone should just sit besides me and accept the fact that the plan is scary. No overly optimistic words. Someone who just accepts it that i am scared and sits in silent solidarity with me for some while. At least we would be on the same page. Then 'we' will know it'll be alright.

 There is this constant pain in the back of my head. I am tensed. There are even moments when I think of giving up. Letting go of the plan. Telling myself that thinking of the plan was good enough, I don't really need to do it. 

This is not the first time that this has happened. It happens many times. Whenever I plan to do something which will be really great. Something which is not ordinary I get scared and the prospect of going by everyday routine is appealing and somehow warm. 
I get this feeling before playing important football matches. I clearly remember this before the semi-final against PDPU during Concours'12. I was scared. But it wasn't the fear of losing. It was something different. 

It was then that this quote by Marianne Williamson (paraphrased in Coach Carter) finally made sense to me. Every word of it. 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"

Please check the Zen Pencil version of it.

I guess i have a similar fear right now. Actually, exactly this. 

That football match was the best game I had ever played till now. That feeling was amazing. We went ahead and won the finals too.


Our comfort zones, are damn too comforting. The fear of unknown is really getting at me. But I think this trip is all about getting over it. And once I am done with it, the feeling would be something similar.